There was a discussion with fellow spankers recently, and my wife commented:
“For a few days, we’ve also been pondering individually and together the complex phenomenon of a ‘very good girl’ who craves discipline. Even Chris says that he thinks I am exceptionally good.”
Even so, every so often something comes up that does prompt me to put on my disciplinarian hat. Usually, its some sort of dangerous or self-destructive behavior on Sparkle’s part. Occasionally its something that annoys me and that we’ve discussed before, but it has to be pretty blatant.
Because we do engage in so much playful spanking, a disciplinary spanking has to be different somehow.
Sparkle’s mindset (or headspace, whatever you want to call it) is definitely a factor, but there has to be some sort of outward difference for me as well. This probably has to do with the fact that I’m not a disciplinarian by nature, and I need some way to separate the spanking from a playful one.
We do tend to play hard sometimes, so severity isn’t a good way to separate it. I’ve probably given “fun” spankings that are harder and longer than some of the disciplinary ones.
The easiest way, I think, has been to reserve one or two implements for punishment spankings.
That’s not to say that we never use them for play, but they do tend to be primarily for punishments, or at least mock punishments. The main one is Sparkle’s mahogany hairbrush. Its a true antique, and quite effective. Its one of the few implements that truly makes Sparkle groan when she sees it.
We also have a heavy oak paddle that does get used for play occasionally, but is mostly for punishment. And I’ve been frequently told that the rubber spline flogger that our friend Randi made us will never be used for anything but punishment, and then only if I can find where Sparkle has hidden it.
Position is another way to separate the two.
As I said in my last entry, the traditional OTK position is going to become a new addition to our punishment repertoire. Another position we primarily use for punishments is bent over: either bent over the end of the bed, or occasionally bent over with her hands on a low table, couch or similar surface. I think I equate this with punishment primarily due to its prevalence in the traditional school spankings/paddlings I’ve read about. It also requires the bottom to hold position more, while in OTK positions they’re more free to kick and squirm.
Beyond that, we don’t really follow any ritual for punishment the way some couples do. I’ve considered it, but I’ve never been a big fan of ritual or ceremony in any context. Maybe someday, but for now we’ll stick with the little things.